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Sunday, May 29, 2005
This is something that my friend Sam wrote, I like it very much, so I decided to share it with others.... :)))
Saat kau bangun dipagi hari, Aku memandangmu dan
berharap engkau akan berbicara kepadaKu, walaupun
hanya sepatah kata, meminta pendapatKu atau bersyukur
kepadaKu atas sesuatu hal indah yang terjadi di dalam
hidupmu kemarin, tetapi aku melihat engkau begitu
sibuk mempersiapkan diri untuk pergi bekerja.
Aku kembali menanti.
Saat engkau sedang bersiap, Aku tahu akan ada sedikit
waktu bagimu untuk berhenti dan menyapaKu, tetapi
engkau terlalu sibuk.
Di satu tempat, engkau duduk di sebuah kursi selama
limabelas menit tanpa melakukan apapun.
Kemudian Aku melihat engkau menggerakkan kakimu.
Aku berpikir engkau ingin berbicara kepadaKu, tetapi
engkau berlari ke telepon dan menelepon seorang teman
untuk mendengarkan gosip terbaru.
Aku melihatmu ketika engkau pergi bekerja dan Aku
menanti dengan sabar sepanjang hari.
Dengan semua kegiatanmu, Aku berpikir engkau terlalu
sibuk untuk mengucapkan sesuatu kepadaKu.
Sebelum makan siang Aku melihatmu memandang
kesekeliling, mungkin engkau merasa malu untuk
berbicara kepadaKu, itulah sebabnya mengapa engkau
tidak menundukkan kepalamu.
Engkau memandang tiga atau empat meja sekitarmu dan
melihat beberapa temanmu berbicara kepadaku dengan
lembut sebelum mereka makan, tetapi engkau tidak
melakukannya.
Tidak apa-apa.
Masih ada waktu yang tersisa, dan Aku berharap engkau
akan berbicara kepadaKu, meskipun saaat engkau pulang
ke rumah kelihatannya seakan-akan banyak hal yang
harus kau kerjakan.
Setelah beberapa hal tersebut selesai engkau kerjakan,
engkau menyalakan televisi, Aku tidak tahu apakah kau
suka menonton televisi atau tidak, hanya saja engkau
selalu ke sanadan menghabiskan banyak waktu setiap
hari di depannya, tanpa memikirkan apapun hanya
menikmati acara yang ditampilkan.
Kembali Aku menanti dengan sabar saat engkau menonton
TV dan menikmati makananmu tetapi kembali kau tidak
berbicara kepadaKu.
Saat tidur Kupikir kau merasa terlalu lelah. Setelah
mengucapkan selamat malam kepada keluargamu, kau
melompat ke tempat tidur dan tertidur tak lama
kemudian.
Tidak apa-apa karena mungkin engkau tidak menyadari
bahwa Aku selalu hadir untukmu.
Aku telah bersabar lebih lama dari yang kau sadari.
Aku bahkan ingin mengajarkanmu bagaimana bersabar
terhadap orang lain.
Aku sangat mengasihimu, setiap hari Aku menantikan
sepatah kata, doa atau pikiran atau syukur dari
hatimu.
Baiklah... engkau bangun kembali dan kembali.
Aku akan menanti dengan penuh kasih bahwa hari ini kau
akan memberiKu sedikit waktu.
Semoga harimu menyenangkan.
Bapamu,
ALLAH TRINITAS YANG MAHAKUDUS
Posted at Sunday, May 29, 2005 by jaka
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Wednesday, May 25, 2005
GOD,
Grant us the serenity to accept the things that we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can,
and the Wisdom to know the differrence.....
Posted at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 by jaka
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Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Woke up with no "ping" inside,
sat up.....
no blues creeping within,
the black cloud has changed its shape again,
to the rainy mood that engulfs me these days,
two wet and gloomy weeks,
to the tranquile water that what it trully is.....
I'm gonna let it flow this time.....

Posted at Tuesday, May 24, 2005 by jaka
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Sunday, May 22, 2005
Baru selesai morning jog,
and hit the gym a bit,
releasing those negative energies
one... two....thirty....thirty one.... two hundred......
he he he he....
AAAAhhhhhh....
badan segar,
peluh bercucuran,
nyeri mulai merambah tubuh, tangan, kaki, punggung
My mind focuses on the pain and strain.....
GREAT DISTRACTION!
after the last set,
got up from the exercise bench,
going for the bar,
acting cool (padahal kesakitan!)
Duduk di refreshment stool,
drinking my C-1000,
glek...glek...glek... (tumpah dikit2 di ujung bibir) he3x....
my first dose of anti-oksidant of the day,
seing all the cool guys and gals doin' their thang,
flexing, running, curling, eyeing, flirting
hmmm....
My smile is back.... a good first sign :)
walk the 2 km walk to my home,
stridding along the street,
my spirit high, like Tora in the Fresh tea ad
sigh..........
(cool guy, that Tora dude) ;)
Beerunet warnet in the the corner caught my attention,
mampir ahhhhh.......
"halo Firman!"
"halo, boss! baru olah raga nih?"
"iyeeeee, ada yang kosong paK?"
"tuh, nomor 4 aja ya?"
Checked my long abandoned fs:
jaka_is_back@yahoo.com
smile at the mails and greetings :)
Guys will be guys!
Just cant live without 'em.....
Said my replies and approvals,
click on my newly openned blog,
He he he he....
rupanya ada beberapa manusia yang mampir,
senangnya hatiku he3x.....
indigo, dq, yuan, rio, pras, baskin, agusitem
terima kasih for replying my visit and checkin me out, guys..... :)
thank you for merawanin shoutbox gua.... :)
It's a great feeling that other people actually reads what u write,
thanks guys.....
A great way to start your Sunday morning..... :))
Kickin' ass time starts today guys!!!
and gonna kick it real good...
Posted at Sunday, May 22, 2005 by jaka
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Friday, May 20, 2005
When you say that I lied,
that I have to justify my whereabouts,
with no favorable responses,
So, be it...
When you think that I don't mean what I say
when all my heartfelt feelings poured out in vain,
So, be it....
When you put mundane issues over my plea,
when frequent lame excuses dismissed your presence,
So, be it...
When the meteorite flame in our kiss slowly dies to a candle flicker,
when the touch of our lips no longer burn,
when the rubbing of our skin no longer tingles,
the scent of you no longer excites,
So, be it...
When we drift apart,
Ever so slow but not so subtle,
fading into the backdrop,
So, be it...
This journey has endded,
shall I continue?
Or just stand in a still pause and die? or die inside?
NEXT VICTIM COMING UP!!!! He he he he.....
Posted at Friday, May 20, 2005 by jaka
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I HATE CAT AND MOUSE GAME,
WHEN U DUN GIVE STRAIGHT ANSWERS....
PLAYIN WITH MY SINCERE ATTENTION,
NOT MY GAME ANYMORE,
SO GET LOST!!!!!
I HATE MASKED FACADE,
FIRST TIME MEETINGS,
ONLY BEST BEHAVIOUR REVEALED,
ONLY TO KNOW THAT U ARE BENEATH ALL THAT....
SCREW U!!!!
I HATE THE WAITING GAME,
WHEN EVERYTIME I HEAR FROM U MY DAYS AGLOW,
WHEN NOT, THEN MY DAYS TURN GLOOM,
GOTTO TURN IT AROUND, TAKE CONTROL,
NO ONE'S EVER WORTH IT SO, I LET YOU GO....
I HATE HURTING MYSELF,
DISTRACTED, LOOSING SLEEP, LOOSING WEIGHT,
ONLY FOR THE ILLUSION OF U HANDSOME......?
ARE U REAL? IS THAT UR DARKSIDE BABY?
IF YES, THEN UR SICK!
GET HELP!!!!
I HATE HATING YOU......
YOUR STILL IN MY HEART,
FROM THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU,
NEVER THOUGH THAT I WOULD BE SAYING THIS,
CYNICAL ME: BUT IT WAS LOVE AT FISRT SIGHT BABY.....
NEVER FELT THIS STRONG BEFORE,
DUN KNOW IF I EVER WILL AGAIN......
I HATE GETTIN OVER YOU....
THE DAYS ARE IN A DAZE :(
WALKING IN A LIMBO STATE OF MIND,
COUNTING THE DAYS,
HOPING THAT THE VOID INSIDE WILL DISSAPEAR.....
SOOOONN!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE MAKE IT GO AWAY...........
PLEASE........
Posted at Friday, May 20, 2005 by jaka
Permalink
Being gay mostly is not by choice,
for no one would voluntarily sign up
in a world full of promiscuity, adultery and such,
where decent and long lived relationship is a minority.....
Being gay is not about possession,
its about savoring every drip of happiness,
while it lasted,
and it usualy doesn't last very long.....
Being gay is about being carefree,
because feelings change and needs change
and so often needs overcome others
so there's no point on worriying about the inevitable
Being gay is not a sign of weakness,
for it takes lots of courage and strength,
to repeatedly hold ur head up high and continue,
every time you pull urself up from a hard fall......
So, here I am,
setting myself for the next collission,
hopping into this crazy roller coaster with a flat brick wall at the end :)
WHAT A F***ED UP WORLD WE LIVE IN !!!! and....
For my dear friend Anita, thank you for your sincere prayer :)
We all could use it, in abundance!
May God help us all.....
Posted at Friday, May 20, 2005 by jaka
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Love Hit & Run Recovery
Tried various and alternative measures for cure
to no avail......
Friends have tried.... in vain.....
Gonna give myself another try,
releasing my negative thoughts,
in simple scribbles.....
Hoping the void in me will soon be
filled up again......
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