MY FIRST SCRIBBLES & DOODLES



Sunday, May 29, 2005
Letter from GOD


This is something that my friend Sam wrote, I like it very much,
so I decided to share it with others.... :)))


Saat kau bangun dipagi hari, Aku
memandangmu dan

berharap engkau akan berbicara kepadaKu,
walaupun

hanya sepatah kata, meminta pendapatKu atau
bersyukur

kepadaKu atas sesuatu hal indah yang terjadi di
dalam

hidupmu kemarin, tetapi aku melihat engkau
begitu

sibuk mempersiapkan diri untuk pergi bekerja.



Aku kembali menanti.

Saat engkau sedang bersiap, Aku tahu akan
ada sedikit

waktu bagimu untuk berhenti dan menyapaKu,
tetapi

engkau terlalu sibuk.

Di satu tempat, engkau duduk di sebuah kursi
selama

limabelas menit tanpa melakukan apapun.



Kemudian Aku melihat engkau menggerakkan
kakimu.

Aku berpikir engkau ingin berbicara kepadaKu,
tetapi

engkau berlari ke telepon dan menelepon
seorang teman

untuk mendengarkan gosip terbaru.

Aku melihatmu ketika engkau pergi bekerja dan
Aku

menanti dengan sabar sepanjang hari.

Dengan semua kegiatanmu, Aku berpikir
engkau terlalu

sibuk untuk mengucapkan sesuatu kepadaKu.

Sebelum makan siang Aku melihatmu
memandang

kesekeliling, mungkin engkau merasa malu
untuk

berbicara kepadaKu, itulah sebabnya mengapa
engkau

tidak menundukkan kepalamu.

Engkau memandang tiga atau empat meja
sekitarmu dan

melihat beberapa temanmu berbicara kepadaku
dengan

lembut sebelum mereka makan, tetapi engkau
tidak

melakukannya.



Tidak apa-apa.

Masih ada waktu yang tersisa, dan Aku
berharap engkau

akan berbicara kepadaKu, meskipun saaat
engkau pulang

ke rumah kelihatannya seakan-akan banyak hal
yang

harus kau kerjakan.

Setelah beberapa hal tersebut selesai engkau
kerjakan,

engkau menyalakan televisi, Aku tidak tahu
apakah kau

suka menonton televisi atau tidak, hanya saja
engkau

selalu ke sanadan menghabiskan banyak
waktu setiap

hari di depannya, tanpa memikirkan apapun
hanya

menikmati acara yang ditampilkan.



Kembali Aku menanti dengan sabar saat
engkau menonton

TV dan menikmati makananmu tetapi kembali
kau tidak

berbicara kepadaKu.

Saat tidur Kupikir kau merasa terlalu lelah.
Setelah

mengucapkan selamat malam kepada
keluargamu, kau

melompat ke tempat tidur dan tertidur tak lama

kemudian.

Tidak apa-apa karena mungkin engkau tidak
menyadari

bahwa Aku selalu hadir untukmu.

Aku telah bersabar lebih lama dari yang kau
sadari.

Aku bahkan ingin mengajarkanmu bagaimana
bersabar

terhadap orang lain.

Aku sangat mengasihimu, setiap hari Aku
menantikan

sepatah kata, doa atau pikiran atau syukur dari

hatimu.

Baiklah... engkau bangun kembali dan kembali.

Aku akan menanti dengan penuh kasih bahwa
hari ini kau

akan memberiKu sedikit waktu.

Semoga harimu menyenangkan.



Bapamu,

ALLAH TRINITAS YANG MAHAKUDUS

Posted at Sunday, May 29, 2005 by jaka
Comments (2)  

Wednesday, May 25, 2005
The Serenity Prayer



GOD,
Grant us the serenity to accept the things that we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can,
and the Wisdom to know the differrence.....

Posted at Wednesday, May 25, 2005 by jaka
Comments (2)  

Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Gettin there....

Woke up with no "ping" inside,
sat up.....
no blues creeping within,
the black cloud has changed its shape again,
to the rainy mood that engulfs me these days,
two wet and gloomy weeks,
to the tranquile water that what it trully is.....

I'm gonna let it flow this time.....



Posted at Tuesday, May 24, 2005 by jaka
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Sunday, May 22, 2005
My first blog responses


Baru selesai morning jog,
and hit the gym a bit,
releasing those negative energies
one... two....thirty....thirty one.... two hundred......
he he he he....

AAAAhhhhhh....
badan segar,
peluh bercucuran,
nyeri mulai merambah tubuh, tangan, kaki, punggung
My mind focuses on the pain and strain.....
GREAT DISTRACTION!

after the last set,
got up from the exercise bench,
going for the bar,
acting cool (padahal kesakitan!)

Duduk di refreshment stool,
drinking my C-1000,
glek...glek...glek... (tumpah dikit2 di ujung bibir) he3x....
my first dose of anti-oksidant of the day,
seing all the cool guys and gals doin' their thang,
flexing, running, curling, eyeing, flirting
hmmm....
My smile is back.... a good first sign :)

walk the 2 km walk to my home,
stridding along the street,
my spirit high, like Tora in the Fresh tea ad
sigh..........
(cool guy, that Tora dude) ;)
Beerunet warnet in the the corner caught my attention,
mampir ahhhhh.......

"halo Firman!"
"halo, boss! baru olah raga nih?"
"iyeeeee, ada yang kosong paK?"
"tuh, nomor 4 aja ya?"

Checked my long abandoned fs:
jaka_is_back@yahoo.com
smile at the mails and greetings :)
Guys will be guys!
Just cant live without 'em.....
Said my replies and approvals,
click on my newly openned blog,

He he he he....
rupanya ada beberapa manusia yang mampir,
senangnya hatiku he3x.....
indigo, dq, yuan, rio, pras, baskin, agusitem
terima kasih for replying my visit and checkin me out, guys..... :)
thank you for merawanin shoutbox gua.... :)

It's a great feeling that other people actually reads what u write,
thanks guys.....
A great way to start your Sunday morning..... :))

Kickin' ass time starts today guys!!!
and gonna kick it real good...




Posted at Sunday, May 22, 2005 by jaka
Comments (7)  

Friday, May 20, 2005
So Be It.......



When you say that I lied,
that I have to justify my whereabouts,
with no favorable responses,
So, be it...

When you think that I don't mean what I say
when all my heartfelt feelings poured out in vain,
So, be it....

When you put mundane issues over my plea,
when frequent lame excuses dismissed your presence,
So, be it...

When the meteorite flame in our kiss slowly dies to a candle flicker,
when the touch of our lips no longer burn,
when the rubbing of our skin no longer tingles,
the scent of you no longer excites,
So, be it...

When we drift apart,
Ever so slow but not so subtle,
fading into the backdrop,
So, be it...

This journey has endded,
shall I continue?
Or just stand in a still pause and die? or die inside?

NEXT VICTIM COMING UP!!!!  He he he he.....



Posted at Friday, May 20, 2005 by jaka
Comments (5)  

MY HATE LIST......

I HATE CAT AND MOUSE GAME,
WHEN U DUN GIVE STRAIGHT ANSWERS....
PLAYIN WITH MY SINCERE ATTENTION,
NOT MY GAME ANYMORE,
SO GET LOST!!!!!

I HATE MASKED FACADE,
FIRST TIME MEETINGS,
ONLY BEST BEHAVIOUR REVEALED,
ONLY TO KNOW THAT U ARE BENEATH ALL THAT....
SCREW U!!!!

I HATE THE WAITING GAME,
WHEN EVERYTIME I HEAR FROM U MY DAYS AGLOW,
WHEN NOT, THEN MY DAYS TURN GLOOM,
GOTTO TURN IT AROUND, TAKE CONTROL,
NO ONE'S EVER WORTH IT SO, I LET YOU GO....

I HATE HURTING MYSELF,
DISTRACTED, LOOSING SLEEP, LOOSING WEIGHT,
ONLY FOR THE ILLUSION OF U HANDSOME......?
ARE U REAL? IS THAT UR DARKSIDE BABY?
IF YES, THEN UR SICK!
GET HELP!!!!

I HATE HATING YOU......
YOUR STILL IN MY HEART,
FROM THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU,
NEVER THOUGH THAT I WOULD BE SAYING THIS,
CYNICAL ME: BUT IT WAS LOVE AT FISRT SIGHT BABY.....
NEVER FELT THIS STRONG BEFORE,
DUN KNOW IF I EVER WILL AGAIN......

I HATE GETTIN OVER YOU....
THE DAYS ARE IN A DAZE :(
WALKING IN A LIMBO STATE OF MIND,
COUNTING THE DAYS,
HOPING THAT THE VOID INSIDE WILL DISSAPEAR.....
SOOOONN!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE MAKE IT GO AWAY...........
PLEASE........


Posted at Friday, May 20, 2005 by jaka
Comments (5)  

Being Gay

Being gay mostly is not by choice,
for no one would voluntarily sign up
in a world full of promiscuity, adultery and such,
where decent and long lived relationship is a minority.....

Being gay is not about possession,
its about savoring every drip of happiness,
while it lasted,
and it usualy doesn't last very long.....

Being gay is about being carefree,
because feelings change and needs change
and so often needs overcome others
so there's no point on worriying about the inevitable

Being gay is not a sign of weakness,
for it takes lots of courage and strength,
to repeatedly hold ur head up high and continue,
every time you pull urself up from a hard fall......

So, here I am,
setting myself for the next collission,
hopping into this crazy roller coaster with a flat brick wall at the end :)
WHAT A F***ED UP WORLD WE LIVE IN !!!! and....
For my dear friend Anita, thank you for your sincere prayer :)
We all could use it, in abundance!
May God help us all.....

Posted at Friday, May 20, 2005 by jaka
Comment (1)  

Previous Page

Love Hit & Run Recovery

Tried various and alternative measures for cure
to no avail......
Friends have tried.... in vain.....

Gonna give myself another try,
releasing my negative thoughts,
in simple scribbles.....
Hoping the void in me will soon be
filled up again......

   

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